On Monday, I opened a box from my childhood and found a lesson that I taught as an adolescent. I was on program to do the Sunday school review (as noted on this handwritten three page, front and back, exposition on Abraham) entitled “Giving All.” First let me state publicly how my younger self preached me all the way under the foundation of my house (I digress). Here’s what I wrote on trust,

“When you trust someone or something, you expect [him, her, or it] to do and to perform as it should. [For example,] let us consider the pews. Think back a few minutes about when you sat down. Did you evaluate the pew to see if it was stable? Did you run and ask someone, “Do you think I should sit here?” No, you just sat down. Too often we spend time trying to evaluate God’s stability. Surely, if we’ll place our trust and confidence in a pew that does nothing except provide us with a seat to place our bottoms, surely we can trust our God who provides for us […]”

My little girl self was on to something! Her world is different from mine. I know that pews are not always stable and God’s presence, actions, and involvement is a murky force field of unknowns. But she, this younger self, was right about trust. Safety is not a prerequisite for trust.

At 31, I know you come to greater depths of self-awareness, spiritual consciousness and trust capabilities when your safety is uncertain. At 31, I know external validation does nothing to elevate trust. It matters not what someone else says to warn or to reassure you, trust is a personal choice. Trust is the ultimate leap of faith. Choosing to trust repeatedly takes a lot of courage!

Sojourners, ask yourself, “Who am I not trusting?” My answer did not surprise me but it may help some of you. As I wrestle with my next journey, the person I fight to trust the most is me, myself, and I (sit with that)! God’s track record is solid—mine on the other hand *side-eye*

WithLove-InPeace-ThroughGrace

"In the grand scheme of things, your life, regardless of pain and difficulty, is an unfolding miracle. Your life is the coming of a dream. Your life is the co-creative component of the Divine birthing process that happens within human consciousness and lived experiences [...]" -Kanisha Billingsley