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On Friday in a restaurant, I eavesdropped on a miracle story. Two women were updating each other on the ebbs and flow of their lives and one shared a portion of her narrative that spoke specifically to one of my current prayer requests. She, unknowingly, offered me hope! Whenever we are seated at the intersection of despair, development, and depression, our ability to leap forward in joy rests upon our willingness to choose trust and faith regardless.
Night seasons, wherein it seems only difficulties prevail, are common experiences for most people who are pursuing their purpose. Sojourner, I want to encourage you. Whatever you are (en)countering, you are not the first to live within these specific dynamics and you will not be the last. Take a leap and (en)trust your narrative to people who love you. Someone around you is the living proof that you need and their continued perseverance will push you forward! WithLove-InPeace-ThroughGrace "In the grand scheme of things, your life, regardless of pain and difficulty, is an unfolding miracle. Your life is the coming of a dream. Your life is the co-creative component of the Divine birthing process that happens within human consciousness and lived experiences [...]" -Kanisha Billingsley
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On 2/16/2014 I opened my eyes at 2:16 a.m. This kind of awakening is Spirit alone. Today is my birthday and I am 31 years old and Jordan Davis is dead. Jordan Davis would be 19 today if a white male Florida resident had not shot up the car driven by teenage children because of their loud music.
Loud music Last night a Florida jury convicted the shooter on three counts of attempted murder but could not reach a verdict on the murder charge. Jordan Davis and I share the same birthday and he is dead. Like Trayvon Martin, Emmet Till, Hadiyah Pendleton, Renisha McBride, Oscar Grant, Alfred Wright, Kendrick Johnson, Mary Turner, and so many other unfound, unidentified, unnamed murder victims, Davis’ black body is denied justice. Our right to birth and nurture our children is constantly compromised. The successful conception, delivery, and parenting of black babies are treated as an axis of evil devised to terrorize. Our right to bring forth New Life and sustain said Life with goodness and light is under attack! Dead black and brown bodies are the premium delicacy in white supremacy. We have countered the violence as best we could while instructing our Beloveds, “You are a child of God. Always wear your seat belts. Do not text and drive. Stay out of that neighborhood! Do not fill your car with people! Be home by 10pm. When a cop pulls you over, keep your hands on the steering wheel until he addresses you and when you are asked for your information, look him in the eyes respectfully and respond, ‘Yes Sir, I have my license and registration. My license is in my wallet and my registration is in the dashboard. May I reach for them?’ And in that moment do everything slowly and do not talk back!!!” We tell our teens to be conscious of their bodies. Do not walk the streets alone. Do not touch it if you cannot buy it. Do not stare. Do not fear the prevalence of whiteness; instead, focus on being your best times ten so that you can experience a modicum of success. Our right to birth and raise our children is treated as an act of terror and the U.S. government does not negotiate with terrorists. Therefore, oppression prevails throughout private and public sectors pimping out longevity of life to the privileged few. Our right to birth and raise our babies without the fear of senseless violent acts provoked by music, hoodies, skittles, wallets, locs, braids, denim jeans sans belts, Our right to nurture our children through adulthood without the assumed “inherent violence of black people” has always been denied. And yet we conceive. And yet we birth. And yet we nurse them at our breasts despite our collective often unspoken knowing that like their Ancestors before them at any moment they can be stripped from us and slaughtered mysteriously. They can turn up dead in school gyms, dismembered in neighboring cities, drug addicted in sex trafficking houses. They can excel academically, serve this country honorably, and return from battle to lead the nation in homelessness and mental illness. A war is being declared against our wombs and the infinite potential nestled between our thighs. And like our Mothers we will not stand by silently. No! Our lament will be heard in the streets, our songs will signal the beginning of a new revolt, our kitchen tables will double as strategic training stations, and our women’s society meetings will take on a new expanded agenda because our womb potential is being denied! Our right to prepare for proms, attend graduations, consult college advisors, purchase caps and gowns, select dorm room bedding, counsel roommate conflicts, and laugh at youthful mistakes once our babies are grown and raising children of their own—this inalienable right afforded to all who choose to parent children is revoked with every bullet, every violent encounter, every lynch mob, every dehumanizing legislation, every new prison opening, every war, and every school closing We will stand our ground! #WithLove-InPeace-ThroughGrace A few weeks ago, I participated in a bible study session and someone posed this question: “What is the most difficult thing for you to release?” A range of answers filled the sanctuary. I did not offer my answer but within me I heard loudly, “The most difficult thing for me to release is always me!” I am sure I am not the only one who finds it easy to accept and even cultivate the greatness budding within others while struggling to articulate and actualize your own life vision. Lean into the new you. Do not fret over your inability to access who you used to be. Trying to re-inscribe your old thought patterns and behaviors is a waste of time. Sojourner, you are changing. Embrace your evolution. Run deeper into this new level of wholeness and accountability.
I know freedom is hard to accept after years of self-imprisonment but liberation is yours. Joy is yours. Peace is yours. Keep pushing as every round yields new levels of you. Who you are becoming is well worth all of the intentions required in these growth and development cycles! WithLove-InPeace-ThroughGrace "In the grand scheme of things, your life, regardless of pain and difficulty, is an unfolding miracle. Your life is the coming of a dream. Your life is the co-creative component of the Divine birthing process that happens within human consciousness and lived experiences [...]" -Kanisha Billingsley What must you release in order to free yourself? Forward movement is impeded by yesterday's unhealthy habits, inhibitions, and perpetual self-sabotage. Who and what should you release so that you can receive more of Spirit and more of you?
Releasing is the most difficult aspect of all life processes. We fear that in releasing we will lose someone or something that cannot be replaced. Sojourner, honor this truth: whatever energy or needs an individual or place or thing provides for you is an indicator of the energy that exists within you already. Every person and situation and thing beyond you is a mirror reflecting back to you who you are. Trust that in letting go you have learned the lessons you need and gained the wisdom necessary for the next part of your journey. The beauty you admire, the gifts you honor, the love you experience, the light you bask in from another exists within you in some form. Release so that you might experience a fuller expression of yourself as you are cultivated within these encounters. Release... WithLove-InPeace-ThroughGrace "In the grand scheme of things, your life, regardless of pain and difficulty, is an unfolding miracle. Your life is the coming of a dream. Your life is the co-creative component of the Divine birthing process .that happens within human consciousness and lived experiences [...]" -Kanisha Billingsley “The only thing constant in life is change […]”
Some variation of the sentiment above (or maybe I’m remembering verbatim) flowed from India Arie’s soul. Everything has a beginning and an ending. Each cycle is necessary and no one cycle is best. Some seasons are more enjoyable or relaxing than others. And your current cycle is overflowing with the lessons you need to learn even if you do not like your current position (ouch). Leap out of your comfort zone and trust that as a thing comes to an end another dynamic is born at that very moment. Honor the change in healthy ways and do not stay in a place of grief too long. The new beginning requires all of you! Sojourner, I invite you to join me as I make room to receive what is next! WithLove-InPeace-ThroughGrace "In the grand scheme of things, your life, regardless of pain and difficulty, is an unfolding miracle. Your life is the coming of a dream. Your life is the co-creative component of the Divine birthing process .that happens within human consciousness and lived experiences [...]" -Kanisha Billingsley |
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May 2015
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